Let me open the doors to the theater of the absurd, where everyone gets their day in court. 

Or in this case, their 15 minutes of infamy. 

Jeremy Pruitt was the football coach at Tennessee not long ago, and a failed one at that. While there’s no shame in losing, there’s abject humiliation in blaming others. 

Especially when you were handing out bags of cash to recruits.

But here we are, and because our magnificent judicial system allows everyone to be heard – and every attorney to claim anything in an initial filing, true or not – Pruitt is suing the NCAA for $100 million, claiming it conspired with Tennessee to run him out of his job and college football.

Why, you ask? So Tennessee didn’t have to pay his $12.8 million buyout after firing him for cause in January of 2021.

There’s one teeny-weeny problem with this argument: the university paid nearly $9 million in fines to the NCAA two years later, as part of a five-year probation for violations committed by Pruitt and his staff. Or a difference of about $4 million. 

Don’t kid yourself, $4 million is walkin’ around money in the high stakes world of hiring and firing coaches in the SEC. This had nothing do with buyouts, and everything to do with a brazenly stupid system of paying players — before NIL changed the rules.

You want stupid? Let me introduce stupid. Among the 18 alleged Level I violations (the most severe in the NCAA rulebook) and more than 200 individual violations committed by Pruitt and his staff, was Pruitt and his wife, Casey, handing out cash to players totaling $60,000.

“Hey babe, we really need that linebacker. Can you hightail it over to Johnson City and give his momma a few stacks in a Chick-fil-A bag?” 

Pruitt was given a six-year show cause penalty by the NCAA, and Tennessee was placed probation, lost 28 scholarships and paid the largest fine in NCAA history. I may be going way out on a limb here, but if the NCAA and Tennessee conspired against Pruitt, what exactly did Tennessee receive for doing the NCAA’s bidding? 

In Pruitt’s filing, a rambling mishmash of deflection, he says Tennessee chancellor Donde Plowman told him, “We know you haven’t done anything wrong.” I’m sure Pruitt’s attorneys have audio proof, or second-hand knowledge from someone else in the room, to back up that claim. Because why else would it be in the filing?

No attorney would ever, you know, write anything in an initial pleading that isn’t true.

Meanwhile, back at the nuthouse, the filing also claims that Pruitt, when he was hired in December of 2017, found out about a pay-for-play scheme and went to then-athletic director Phil Fulmer with the appalling news. Fulmer, the filing sates, told Pruitt “he would handle it.”

Apparently over the next three seasons – and I know this is hard to imagine – someone strong-armed squeaky clean Pruitt to continue flouting NCAA rules by handing out cash to players. Among the other 200-plus violations. 

Must have been that mean Tennessee administration. The same administration that refused to pay his $12.8 million buyout after he lost 19 of 35 career games, and turned the program into Vanderbilt (sorry, Diego).

The same administration that clearly isn’t afraid of buyouts, having given walkaway money to Butch Jones ($8.2 million) and Derek Dooley ($5 million) prior to the Pruitt era.

Must have been the Tennessee chancellor, and the Tennessee athletic director who knew there was a history of cheating, and looked the other way for everyone else. Just not Pruitt. 

Must have been the NCAA, which haphazardly decides who and what to investigate, and did so this time only by invitation of a member institution. But it backfired on Tennessee, baby, and they got theirs when the NCAA – even though it was conspiring with Tennessee – fined the university $9 million.

This might be the stupidest stupid in the history of stupid.

And because the NCAA and Tennessee conspired against this elite football coach, the filing states, Pruitt lost wages and other compensation, and suffers from emotional distress and mental anguish. He also sustained damage to his reputation.

For the love of all things holy, his reputation, man.

For all of this, and anything inadvertently omitted from the initial, wildly truthful filing, Jeremy Pruitt wants 100 large. But is willing to “allow a jury” to determine the damages.

Hopefully the jury isn’t in on the conspiracy, too. 

Matt Hayes is the senior national college football writer for USA TODAY Sports Network. Follow him on X at @MattHayesCFB.

LOS ANGELES − It wasn’t a domestic season-opener Thursday at Dodger Stadium, it was a Hollywood premiere.

The Los Angeles Dodgers’ home opener against the Detroit Tigers, culminating with a 5-4 victory, belonged on the big screen, not on a grass field in front of a frenzied sold-out crowd of 53,595.

There was Shohei Ohtani homering for the second time this season, with Hollywood stars Tom Hanks, Mary Hart and Rob Lowe celebrating as if they just won an Oscar.

There was Teoscar Hernandez with the biggest hit of the game, a go-ahead 3-run homer, making manager Dave Roberts look like a genius for putting him third in the batting order.

There were the Dodgers winning once again, baseball’s only 3-0 team, with visions of winning more regular-season games than any team in history.

And once again, there was Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.,’’ blaring into the night as fans headed for the exits.

When the night was over, all the Dodgers could talk about was their spectacular pre-game ceremony, making the game almost anticlimactic.

“It was amazing,’’ Dodgers third baseman Max Muncy told USA TODAY Sports. “It just gives you chills kind of seeing everything and seeing the trophy back on the field. It’s just really cool. They went above and beyond.

“But it’s kind of what you’ve come to expect out of this city, out of this organization, and that’s a good thing.’’

The party began with fans driving early in the morning to grab a close parking spot, walking briskly into the ballpark, and three hours before game-time, the gift shops were jammed, the concession stands were long, and everybody was buying everything they could find with the Dodgers’ name on everything from uniforms to shot glasses to hats.

Why, even Dodgers CEO Stan Kasten was parading around with an eight-time World Series championship leather jacket in the clubhouse and on the field, reminding everyone that they’re available for $300 in Dodger souvenir stores.

The continuation of the World Series celebration began at 6:34 p.m. ET when the Dodgers, wearing gold trim on their white uniforms and gold numbers on the back, strolled out through the center-field gate. They were accompanied by blue pyrotechnics and white smoke machines, and skipped along the blue carpet on the field as the crowd screamed louder and louder.

They lined up along the third-base line, when everyone was instructed to look at the scoreboard. There was a video of rapper Ice Cube driving a dark blue Chevy Bel-Air convertible with the World Series trophy in the passenger’s seat. The center-field gate opened, and there he was live, driving along the warning track and parking in front of the Dodgers dugout where he walked out and handed it to Magic Johnson, who took it to home plate.

The Dodgers weren’t done. They wanted to commemorate Freddie Freeman’s historic walk-off grand slam in Game 1 of the World Series against the New York Yankees, so they brought the entire Freeman family out on the field with his wife, kids, dad and stepmom. Freeman’s father, Fred, was handed the mic, who said, “I’m living the Dad’s perfect dream.’’

Dodgers broadcaster Joe Davis reminded everyone that Freeman’s homer was so eerily reminiscent of Kirk Gibson’s 1988 home run in Game 1 of the World Series against Oakland that he felt it was time the two should get together on the field.

“Gibby, meet Freddie,” said Davis, a reversal of his Game 1 call last year when he said, “Freddie, meet Gibby.”

Out came Gibson, who also led the Detroit Tigers to the 1984 World Series title, and the crowd roared. He walked onto the field to shake Freeman’s hand, took pictures, and stepped to the mound to throw the ceremonial first pitch, with Freeman catching it, of course.

Now, it was time for the unveiling of the World Series banner, with the Dodgers’ ownership group huddled in the center-field pavilion, and with Johnson and tennis legend Billie Jean King tugging on the rope, hoisted the banner high into the air next the American flag. The 2024 World Series plaque was then unveiled in the right-field corner by captains of the Los Angeles and Pasadena fire departments.

The teams lined up for the national anthem, sung by Josh Groban, followed by a flyover with four jets, two F-15Cs and two F-35 Lightning fighter jets, and then Ice Cube grabbing the mic and announcing, “It’s time for Dodger baseball.’’

“I thought the ceremony was fantastic,” Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said, “a beautiful day, acknowledging what we accomplished in 2024. I thought the fans were really into it. The presentation with Freddie meeting Gibby, I thought Gibby throwing out the first pitch was fantastic.

“Every day is special in its own right, but having these gold hats and uniforms, we nailed it.”

The game was a thriller, too, but paled in comparison to the pre-game festivities, even with two-time Cy Young award winner Blake Snell making his Dodgers debut against reigning AL Cy Young winner Tarik Skubal. Snell gave up nine baserunners in just five innings, but the Tigers couldn’t capitalize, going 0-for-9 with runners in scoring position off Snell, and 0-for-15 in the game.

“I’m excited to get that one out of the way,’’ Snell said. “They’re a scrappy team.’’

Snell would have loved to catch the pre-game ceremony, but he figures he’ll watch the replay, and would trade off missing Thursday’s ceremony for Friday’s ring presentation any day.

“I can’t wait for that,’’ said Snell, even though he won’t be getting a ring since he pitched last season for the San Francisco Giants. “I’m just excited to see what they look like.’’

Meanwhile, the decision of the day belonged to Roberts when he decided to bat Hernandez third in the lineup, dropping Freeman, a left-handed hitter, to the cleanup spot with left-handed Skubal on the mound.

“There’s a Teoscar tax to get to Freddie a third time,’’ Roberts said before game. “It makes it tougher for a pitcher and manager to navigate though our lineup with Freddie facing a lefty.’’

So what happens?

Hernandez, with two men and two outs and the Dodgers trailing 2-1, belted Skubal’s 96-mph fastball into the center-field seats for a 3-run homer, a lead the Dodgers never surrendered.

“Obviously, I put the best show that I can give to the fans,’’ Hernandez said, “so they can enjoy the game.’’

Next up, the World Series ring ceremony Friday. They’ll be facing Tigers starter Jack Flaherty, who just so happened to help them win that ring, and will get his ring Saturday.

Besides infielder/outfielder Enrique Hernandez feeling sick and unable to even come to the game, the only glitch of the Dodgers’ day came in the early afternoon when Ohtani entered the Dodgers’ glitzy new two-level clubhouse, which looks more like a bar “W’’ with its lighting than a baseball locker room. Ohtani, one of the last to arrive, quickly dressed, but he couldn’t find his uniform belt. He summoned a clubhouse attendant. He searched the three enclaves in Ohtani’s locker. He looked into the bottom four drawers in Ohtani’s locker. Still nothing. Finally, he stood on his tip-toes, reached into the space high above Ohtani’s locker, and pulled out his duffel bag.

Ohtani and the attendant fumbled through the bag, and finally, there it was, the shiny new blue belt.

The show could go on, and, yes, Ohtani was wearing the same belt when he smacked a home run into left field, with everyone going home happy and believing this could be yet another season to remember.

“This was technically not the opening series for us so I was able to play the game the way I wanted to,’’ Ohtani said. “But with that being said though, playing in front of these fans, and this circumstance, it does make want to motivate myself to win another championship.’’

In the words of Roberts, “We want to run it back.’’

Again and again and again.

“There’s a lot of excitement with our fanbase,’’ Roberts said, “and our players can feel it.’’

Three down, 159 more games, and the month of October to go.

Follow Nightengale on X: @Bnightengale

The NCAA men’s basketball tournament resumes Friday. By the evening’s end the Sweet 16 will officially be down to the Elite Eight, just one step removed from a trip to the Final Four in San Antonio next weekend.

The action begins in Atlanta, where a miniature SEC-Big Ten challenge is in the offing. Shortly thereafter events will tip off in Indianapolis, where the top four seeds that includes last year’s national runner-up, take the floor.

Once again,, we’re here to take you through the night’s matchups. Happy viewing, and good luck if you still have a dog in the fight. Well, you probably don’t since all the canine mascots have been eliminated* – but we digress.

No. 2 Michigan State vs. No. 6 Mississippi

Time/TV: 7:09 p.m. ET, CBS

Seeding as well as historical precedent would seem to favor the Spartans, who are Sweet 16 regulars while the Rebels have reached this round just once before – in 2001. Michigan State should also enjoy a considerable depth advantage, particularly among the guards where Jaden Akins does a little of everything, Jase Richardson and Tre Holloman make plenty of big shots and Jeremy Fears sets up his teammates. The Rebels’ negative rebounding margin of nearly five a game is also a concern, though that is to an extent a function of life in the SEC. All of this is not to say Ole Miss has no chance, especially if Sean Pedulla keeps knocking down treys, but he’s going to need help from his frontcourt teammates.

No. 2 Tennessee vs. No. 3 Kentucky

Time/TV: 7:39 p.m. ET, TBS/TRUTV

From Tennessee’s perspective, Kentucky is either the one fellow SEC team it did not want to see in the tournament, or the one that it did in order to achieve a measure of redemption. As for the Wildcats, they’ll look to do what worked against the Volunteers twice before in victories this season – always easier said than done. The common factor in both prior encounters was that Vols’ leading scorer Chaz Lanier was held in check. He’s been on a tear of late so that could change, but the Wildcats have also been shooting well. Tennessee’s usually strong perimeter defense was lacking in its second date with the Wildcats in Lexington, and the Kentucky offense should now have even better ball security with Lamont Butler back in the lineup.

*Yes, we know about Smokey, but the actual canine usually doesn’t attend basketball games.

No. 1 Auburn vs. No. 5 Michigan

Time/TV: 9:39 p.m. ET, CBS

After dominating the SEC for much of the season, Auburn’s closing stretch was cause for concern. The Tigers’ victory margins in their first two games only went so far to alleviate those misgivings, most notably Johni Broome’s struggles against Creighton big man Ryan Kalkbrenner. That might not bode well for this matchup with the Big Ten tournament champion Wolverines, particularly when Michigan’s big lineup is on the floor with both Vlad Goldin and Danny Wolf. The good news for Auburn is Tahaad Pettiford and Chad Baker-Mazara have been accurate from outside the arc, and the Tigers are still quite disruptive at the defensive end. But Tre Donaldson, Michigan’s primary ball handler, will be facing his former team and should be familiar with the Tigers’ tendencies.

No. 1 Houston vs. No. 4 Purdue

Time/TV: 10:09 p.m. ET, TBS/truTV

The Boilermakers will have the bulk of the home-state crowd on their side for the nightcap in Indianapolis. But Houston is more than accustomed to hostile environs, having prevailed in all 10 of its road contests in the Big 12. Purdue hit a four-game skid in February, and the Cougars, who have lost just four times all season, have experienced no such streak. Purdue can play with anybody when everything is working, which begins with Braden Smith handing out dimes to Trey Kaufman-Renn and Fletcher Loyer. But the Cougars are all about making sure everything is not working, as they hold opponents to a mere 58.4 points a game while forcing 13.7 turnovers on average. While L.J. Cryer and Emanuel Sharp hit many of the shots, the Houston offense usually runs through the capable hands of Milos Uzan.