We all want our kids to be stars.
Sure, they often share those aspirations with us. But sometimes the reward they get from sports is much simpler.
‘I think it’s just fun to play with others, and especially with people who are close to you,’ Ethan Taylor, a young flag football player from Great Britain, said while participating in the NFL’s Pro Bowl Games last week.
‘You can just have a laugh, and sometimes you can get competitive. If you win, you celebrate loads. If you lose, you still celebrate if you had a good time … ‘
He paused. ‘But you’re a little sad,’ he said.
His coaches, and two of his teammates who surrounded him during an interview session, chuckled.
What if we asked our kids, before a national audience, why they play sports? What if we asked them, before their biggest games of the season, for a prediction?
What if we put them on a world stage, like we will do with professional players this week leading up to the Super Bowl?
If you are 12 and under, and your team qualified for the International Flag Championships in Orlando, Florida, you had those opportunities, and many others, to speak up during your own media day.
‘What have your friends made of this and how jealous are they of you for being out in Orlando when we’re here in the freezing cold of London?’ BBC reporter Phil Parry asked Great Britain’s players.
‘Yeah, it’s absolutely hilarious,’ said Douglas Timms, the team’s quarterback, swinging casually in his desk chair during a zoom interview.
‘I have an older sister. As the younger sibling, you have to be the total bugger. You have to push for the favorite child spot. So this has definitely, like, raised my ranking.’
For the first time, the NFL had kids participate in media availabilities ahead of its U12 flag football tournament, in which coed teams from 13 countries competed last week. It concludes with Sunday’s final between Canada and Japan.
The media sessions gave the young athletes a chance to tell everyone about their team, their sports experiences and aspirations, and whatever else was on their mind (including how their parents act at games).
The candor of the event reminded us how much we can learn from sitting and listening to kids, and hearing about how our actions affect them. Here are some highlights:
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‘My mom’s very loud’: Sports is our kids’ experience to create, not ours
Your son or daughter will likely tell you they play sports not for the wins, but for the feeling they get in trying to achieve them.
‘You get to play with boys but also connect with the girls that are on your team and you get to make plays that nobody really thought you were capable of doing, and that really makes me proud,’ says Leah Kozubek, an 11-year-old rusher for Team Canada.
The flag football movement, which has 20 million participants in more than 100 countries, is built on a premise that anyone, of any skill level, can not only be on a team, but contribute to its overall success.
The pleasure kids derive from sports shouldn’t change whether they’re in a recreational game or moving through rounds of tournament play like the U12 flag football teams had to do to reach Orlando.
‘It’s just another way to have a fun runaround with your mates and laugh over silly things,’ says Timms, Great Britain’s quarterback, of playing flag football.
Maybe you’re the mom or dad who yanks at your hair after every call that goes against your child. Or you’re the coach who berates a referee over it.
We can get worked up over how our son or daughter performs on the field. But have you ever wondered what’s going through his or her mind while they’re playing, or listening to you from the stands? Here’s your chance.
‘My mom’s definitely taking the spot for No. 1 fan, just a very loud person in general,’ Timms says. ‘On the sideline, you can hear her. Like even in the stadium, probably, you just hear her going, ‘Go Douglas, go,’ which is always nice to hear because, family is just one of the most important aspects of your life. They just help you through everything.’
‘They’ve been really helpful, but they are also very cautious about me getting hurt a lot of the time,’ his teammate, Leia Bond, chimed in from his left. ‘And yeah, like Douglas said, my mom’s very loud. Very loud. Like, it’s kind of awkward.’
(More players’ responses in the video above.)
‘The beauty of inclusion’: What flag football teaches us about sports
A kid’s effort to find the ball within the fast pace and smaller confines is often as valuable as his or her athleticism.
‘Once you get on there, and you actually absorb what we’re trying to coach, anybody can make it,’ says Eliel Bastien, a coach for Team Canada. ‘And as long as you give your 100% we’ll use you on the field.”
Flag is perhaps fastest growing among girls, who can now play it in 14 states (and counting) as a sanctioned high school varsity sport and in nearly 20 more as part of pilot programs.
This weekend, the NFL also hosted a showcase among the top U.S. girls high school flag football athletes from teams featured in the USA TODAY Super 25 flag football rankings.
Each coed team competing in the 12U international flag championships has at least two girls. Many have more.
‘The beauty of flag football is inclusivity, so it doesn’t matter your size, it doesn’t matter your background, it doesn’t matter your gender,’ says Jamil Springer, the head coach of Team Canada. ‘Flag Football is a game for everybody, and I think tournaments like this is a great representation, because you have Germany, Brazil, France, Japan, China, places that I don’t think some of these kids even know exist, and this is their first time interacting or even knowing that that there’s something outside of Canada.
‘So I can say, as a parent, as a coach and as an organizer, there’s nothing that beats this tournament. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for these kids, and I think they’ll remember it when they’re old like us.’
We asked Team Canada why they work so well together (and love speaking to the media):
‘Laugh at the face of adversity’: A sense of humor goes a long way in competition
Springer says he can ‘definitely foresee someone …. maybe several people’ on his Montreal-based team playing flag football for Canada in the Olympics at some point. The sport debuts at the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics.
‘But this team, by far, is the most interesting because (of) their sense of humor,’ he says of teams he has brought to this tournament. ‘There’s never a dull moment, even though we’ve had some tough games in Canada, at the nationals, even the regionals.
‘I think that their sense of humor is the reason why they kind of get through the tough moments and they persevere, because they just laugh at every single thing possible, which is frustrating as a coach, but in the long run, we want them to enjoy this experience. We want them to come back from this experience saying they had a time of their life, and it’s important that they stay light and they laugh at the face of adversity, essentially.’
We can coach and parent with humor, too. When I asked two players from New Zealand’s flag football team what they liked best about being around their team, they mentioned how their coach, Mase Shaw, patiently corrects their mistakes.
‘He definitely picks us up when we’re at our lowest, and he really helps us through those tough times and gives us really good advice to get a team going,’ said quarterback Levi Currie.
‘I don’t even pay them either,’ Shaw said from behind him, eliciting similes from Currie and wide receiver Olivia Quane.
As adults, we can take ourselves too seriously. Kids are much less likely to do so.
Sometimes, we need to follow their lead to give them the best sports experience, like when Great Britain’s team was asked about their ambitions for the tournament.
‘To be honest, I don’t have the highest ambitions,’ said Taylor, the backup quarterback.
His head coach, Bobby Behzadi, patted the player’s head and smiled before Taylor could continue much further.
‘I’m just gonna join in,’ Behzaid said. ‘I think what we try to manage those expectations. And I think the outcome of this tournament is not gonna be judging what’s success for us.
‘We look at this team, and we know how much they’ve progressed, and the goal is that they go back, and in two years time, we look at this team and they’re all still playing.’
Now Timms, his quarterback, had something to add.
‘I just have a question,’ he said, raising his index finger and flashing a grin. ‘Does this go out to any countries, because if it does, we’re definitely gonna win.’
(This story was updated to add new information.)
Steve Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer with USA TODAY since 1999. He spent 10 years coaching his two sons’ baseball and basketball teams. He and his wife, Colleen, are now sports parents for two high schoolers. His column is posted weekly. For his past columns, click here.
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